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Showing posts from August 14, 2016

Written to my mom September 15 2009 - 5 months after losing EVERYTHING, hitting my knees, then finding a small piece of what I now call God through a book on the law of attraction.....

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Written to my mom September 15 2009 - 5 months after losing EVERYTHING, hitting my knees, then finding a small piece of what I now call God through a book on the law of attraction.....  I get little glimpses of this Marisa every now and then, the insecure and so needing to please and make her family happy all the mean while OVER promising and GROSSLY under delivering.....  I feel sad reading this because although I was in the midst of a HUGE spiritual awakening, I was so sad and although I was saying that I didn't care what others thought.... all I wanted was for SOMEONE to be proud of me.  I can honestly say that I have not had that fear of my family not being proud of me lately but was surprised by highly triggered I am with being called a disappointment.  One of my friends found that out lately when she casually said she was dissapointed because I couldn't meet for lunch and got reacted upon!  I remember thinking... "Geeze Marisa your acting like a psycho" but see…